Author: Susan Neethling,
16 January 2024

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

New Year’s Resolutions:
Enthusiastic Beginnings, Dismal Endings

The New Year brings with it the desire for new beginnings and visions of happy endings. Whether we deliberately set out to do it or not, New Year’s resolutions, or ‘this year I would like to stop/start’ statements, spew forth with reckless abandon. Despite this enthusiasm, numerous studies have shown that up to 80% of people give up on their New Year goals by February.

Extreme Accountability:
The Crucial Key to Achieving Goals

What is the one thing that hamstrings most of us? Accountability. More specifically, the lack of accountability. Taking extreme accountability for your choices is, by far, the single most effective aspect you can work on to help guarantee success.

“Accountability breeds response-ability.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Take accountability for everything and blame nothing and no one. Simply own where you are right now, without self-recrimination and the proverbial self-flagellation.
Follow that up by doing everything you can with what you’ve got from where you are. No holds barred.

That’s it—how to achieve any of your goals in two easy steps. Yet, only 8% of people follow through on any goal they set for themselves, and even fewer succeed in achieving the original goal outcome.

The Struggle Is Real:
Take Control

It is a difficult process that everybody struggles with.

And I mean everybody.

Even the people who seem to have it easy, who started out with more, or who have the support, intelligence, luck, or metabolism that you wish you had. So, stop wondering why it’s easy for others, and start asking yourself what they DID (or didn’t do) to get so “lucky”. Then, look at your own life and ask yourself what you DID (or didn’t do) to get where you are right now.

“Life is a sum of all your choices”
– Albert Camus

It’s time to face yours.

Personal Power:
Let Go Of Excuses

A full discussion of extreme accountability (as explored in “Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win” by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin) is beyond the scope of this article. However, in relation to everyday living and goal achievement, it speaks to letting go of excuses, especially the valid ones that identify as reasons, and shifting to a solutions-based mindset.

“While it is difficult to take responsibility for your own outcomes, it is far more empowering than giving away your power by blaming others.”
– Toni Robbins

At the end of the day, you are the only one who is responsible for your life. It is in this mindset where personal power lies—the strength to make the choices that your dream life requires.

Here are the basic steps that virtually anybody can follow to build an effective process for setting and achieving goals:

Once you have taken extreme ownership of your life, you can begin the process of figuring out what you want.

Moreover, if you don’t have a target, you will miss it every time.
In other words, if you do not have razor-sharp clarity on what you want and why you want it, you will never get it.

“If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.”
–Lawrence J. Peter

1. SET THE GOALS

The goal achievement process is often described as a journey. In keeping with that analogy when describing the concept of clarity, it can be rephrased as this: If you do not know where you want to go and when you want to be there, you cannot plan your trip.

“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.”
– Stephen King

Now, it is important to keep things realistic. Whether you lean towards the ‘shoot for the stars and you’ll land on the moon’ school of thought, or if you prefer the ‘one eats an elephant one bite at a time’ approach, the goals must be realistic from within your personal context.

The key is to create desire, set yourself up for success, and open up possibilities for future growth.

2. OWN THE GOALS

There are three basic areas to consider when tackling this process

SYSTEMS:
If you don’t have a proverbial (or actual) timeline and roadmap, there can be no itinerary.

There are numerous systems at your disposal. However, choosing the best one might be time-consuming and overwhelming. If you are new at this, or your history with goal-setting is disappointing, consider getting a coach or joining a support group.

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”
– Henry Ford

Moreover, systems and hard-and-fast rules will help you avoid wandering down the many alternative pathways we are very eager to carve out for ourselves when boredom kicks in.
When your goals demand repetition, behavior changes, adhering to deadlines, or saying ‘no’ to social engagements, it’s best you have your personal goal rule-book on hand to eliminate the possibility of talking yourself out of ‘doing the right thing’.

Yes, it’s boring and difficult. Becoming the person you want to be is tough business, but it beats the alternative.

EMOTIONS:
Prepare a game plan for when things get difficult (they will get difficult).

Once you understand that your emotions and impulses are not necessarily true and/or useful for achieving your goals, you can learn to control your reactions to undesirable circumstances and pitfalls as and when they cross your path. This will require you to be agonisingly honest with yourself.

It’s going to hurt, but it’s worth it.

“Mastery of impulse is all about self-discipline and choice. The mind is a powerful tool with which we have the ability to be in control of ourselves.”
– Alaric Hutchinson

PEOPLE:
Consider your support system and the people you surround yourself with.

Resistance can come from two totally opposite places.
On one hand, people who love you don’t want to see you hurt; they might discourage you from pursuing a goal from a place of love, believing they are doing what is best for you by telling you to play it safe.

On the other hand, there are the people who would love to see you fall flat on your face. They are less insidious and just want to see you fail, offering no support and, in some cases, actively opposing your efforts.

“Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality. Stay focused on your goals and make your own decisions.”
– Les Brown

Despite the differences, the message from both groups is the same: “Don’t do it”. This too will require you to be agonisingly honest about your life.
Be aware of where your support comes from.

Listen to everyone, for even in brutal attack, lies a grain of truth. Then, use those grains to forge a set of characteristics and habits that’ll allow you to act in ways that’ll make them eat their words.

3. BAG THE GOALS

If you follow this process, you will have a workable game plan.

Now go out and make it a reality.
Do what you said you were going to do.
Do it alone when no one wants to do it with you.
When you’re tired, when you’re bored, angry, broke or when you’d rather be doing something else.

Do it when it is difficult.
It is in doing calculated, high-value, tough tasks where self-respect lies. The more self-respect you generate, the more likely you are to bag your goal.

“Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Most of all, other people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.”

– Jeffrey Gitomer

Your Unstoppable Path Awaits

In conclusion, the journey to personal transformation demands a resilient mindset and extreme accountability.

Lack of ownership hinders progress, a universal struggle irrespective of advantages. Embracing difficulty, shedding excuses, and choosing a solutions-based mindset are vital.

Success lies in setting realistic goals, navigating systems, and wisely selecting support networks.

The process involves facing discomfort, as true self-respect is forged in mastering challenging tasks.

The final step requires unwavering commitment, undertaking tough tasks to achieve set goals.

Embracing difficulties, honing self-respect, and staying true to the game plan will pave the way for a transformed life and the realisation of envisioned aspirations.

Let’s embark on this goal-setting adventure together and craft a life that goes beyond the ordinary.

Until then, keep cultivating that goal-oriented mindset, and remember – you’re the author of your goals, the director of your journey, and the architect of your destiny.

The power to shape your future is in your hands, so let’s make each goal count!

Cheers to your unwavering pursuit,

Susan